


Slip

by travelingpsycho



Category: Japanese Actor RPF, Johnny's Entertainment, Kanjani8 (Band), NewS (Band)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-01-27
Updated: 2012-01-27
Packaged: 2017-10-30 04:52:43
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,353
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/327953
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/travelingpsycho/pseuds/travelingpsycho
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>They both know that their relationship has a limit, not in length but in degree. What will happen if they pass that?</p>
            </blockquote>





	Slip

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Nijiranger](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nijiranger/gifts).



They both know that their relationship has a limit, not in length but in degree. It's okay to be sleeping together. It's okay for Yamapi to spend the night at Ryo's apartment several times a week or for Ryo to show up at Yamapi's door unannounced for drinks and more. It's even okay, every once in a while, to curl up on the couch together with Yamapi's arm around Ryo's waist. What's not okay is to bring feelings into it. They're friends, good friends, but that's all they can be.

Ryo was the one who said it, although Yamapi agreed: "No complications." Their lives are complicated enough, working hard and being in the spotlight, with people just waiting to catch them doing something they shouldn't. And this, in the eyes of the people who control their lives, is something they shouldn't do. Knowing that's not enough to stop them, but they're very aware that they can't take this too far. It's too much of a risk to get into something they can't easily get out of.

It works for them until one night when everything gets turned upside down. They're at Ryo's apartment, in bed, and in the quiet moment after orgasm, Yamapi breathes, "I love you."

Neither of them moves, but Ryo tenses. "What?" he asks. His voice is quiet but hard.

"Nothing," Yamapi says quickly.

For just a moment, it seems like everything can go back to normal, but then Ryo says, "It wasn't nothing."

Yamapi takes a deep breath in and sighs it out. "Sorry. I didn't mean to."

"To say it?" The hard note is gone from Ryo's voice and now it just sounds small in the late-night quiet.

Yamapi ducks his head apologetically. "To fall in love with you." He doesn't sound upset so much as resigned, like he knew this day would come.

"Pi, you know...we can't..."

Yamapi turns away then and gets to his feet. "It's okay. I know."

"Where are you going?" Ryo asks.

"I'll sleep on the couch tonight," Yamapi says.

Ryo's bed feels cold with Yamapi gone. He pulls the covers up to his chin and doesn't think about it. They always knew this wouldn't last, he tells himself. One way or another, it was going to end. But even so, as he curls up alone in his too-big bed, he can't help feeling a little sad.

 

Yamapi is gone when Ryo wakes up in the morning. That's not unusual, but it's different today, knowing that he won't be back. Ryo's head is all jumbled when he tries to think about it, especially about Yamapi being in love with him.

It's not that Ryo's not interested in love. He believes he'll find someone someday and settle down and probably have a few kids together. But not _now_ , and definitely not Yamapi. They were good together, as friends and friends with benefits, but he can't very well settle down like that with Yamapi. He's known that all along, and he thought Yamapi did too, until last night. Now he doesn't know what to think.

He's glad that his day is too busy to allow him much time for thinking, and that night he goes out clubbing for the first time in a while to take his mind off of everything. 

"You haven't been here in ages," Jin comments. "Did your secret girlfriend dump you?"

"My what?" Ryo asks, startled. He never told Jin anything, and he doesn't think Yamapi did either.

"Don't think you can fool me," Jin says, flashing that lazy smirk of his. "You wouldn't stay away from here if you weren't getting lucky somewhere else. So if you're back, it must mean that's over."

"Yeah," Ryo says vaguely. "It's over."

"Sorry," Jin says. "Should I be sorry?" Ryo just shrugs, and Jin doesn't push. "You'll find someone else, no problem. Let me buy you a drink."

 

It's strange, not seeing Yamapi regularly. NEWS isn't doing much, and what they are doing can usually be accomplished with Yamapi or Ryo (or both) missing. That's nothing new, but it didn't matter when they were spending time together outside of work. Now, day after day goes by with no contact with Yamapi.

Ryo thinks about calling, but he can't bring himself to do it. It's not that he's scared, exactly. He doesn't know where they stand anymore, and it doesn't seem fair to expect Yamapi to hide his feelings and act like everything is normal. If he's willing to do that, he'll have to be the one to initiate contact.

He does, after almost two weeks. Ryo's heart starts pounding when he sees the message, so he's embarrassed when he looks and it only says, _Did I leave my gray sweatshirt at your place?_

When he looks around, he realizes it's draped over the back of the couch, so familiar he didn't even notice. _Yeah,_ he writes back.

_Can I come grab it?_ comes the response. _I'm close by._

_Sure._ Ryo reminds himself to relax, that it's not a big deal. What's Yamapi going to do, jump him? He understands the situation as well as Ryo does.

Yamapi rings the bell five minutes later, even though he has a key. "Hi," Ryo says when he opens the door, doing his best to be casual.

"Hi," Yamapi says. If he's angry or pining for Ryo or anything else strange, he doesn't show it. He doesn't smile either, but that doesn't always mean anything with Yamapi. He spots his sweatshirt and goes to pick it up. "Thanks," he says.

Yamapi's hand is on the doorknob when Ryo finds himself saying, "Wait." He says it without thinking, and when Yamapi turns around, he has to stop and figure out what he wants before speaking. "Can't we just...can't we be friends? We used to be friends, just friends."

Yamapi looks at the floor and Ryo knows immediately what the answer is. "I can't," he says quietly. "Not right now. If we have to work together, I'll manage, but I can't pretend everything's normal." Ryo bites his lip, feeling guilty even though he's not the one who broke their rules. "I'll see you," Yamapi says without conviction, and then leaves without waiting for Ryo to reply.

 

"Did something happen with Yamapi?" Uchi asks five minutes into dinner.

"Why would you say that?" Ryo asks, trying to play it cool. Uchi is the only person who knows about him and Yamapi, not because they told him but because he showed up without calling at Ryo's apartment one day and there was no way to explain away Ryo naked with Yamapi leaning over him.

"Because you called me out of the blue and invited me to dinner," Uchi says wryly. "That means you're lonely."

"I'm not lonely!" Ryo protests. It's not like he's been sitting at home moping.

"Then you didn't break up?" Uchi's obviously not fooled; he never is.

"We were never together," Ryo mutters.

The does set Uchi back a bit. "You could've fooled me."

"We were having sex," Ryo tells him. "Not a relationship."

Uchi considers that for a minute. "Then what happened?"

Ryo's not sure he wants to talk about it, and he's sure that he shouldn't, but maybe it'll feel better, to tell someone. Without Yamapi to talk to, he feels like this is his dark secret from the whole world. "Yamapi's..." he starts. "Yamapi said he's..." He feels really awkward saying it, but he finally finishes in a mumbled rush, "He said he's in love with me."

"He what?"

Ryo takes a deep breath. "He's in love with me," he says more clearly."

He expects Uchi to laugh, but instead he turns serious. "Oh. And you're...not?"

Ryo shakes his head. "We agreed that it wouldn't be anything complicated. We were fine, and then all of a sudden..."

Uchi shrugs, not seeming very sympathetic. "You can't choose who you fall in love with..."

That makes Ryo frown. "I don't blame him. But now we're not even friends anymore and it sucks."

"So you're really not in love with him?" Uchi asks, looking thoughtful.

"I said no."

Uchi smiles at his irritation. "I'm just asking. You can be a little emotionally retarded, Ryo-chan."

"I'm not," he says firmly. "I...we get along really well, and obviously I'm attracted to him. But that's not love, is it?"

It's a rhetorical question, but Uchi answers anyway. "No. But...could you? Fall in love with him?"

That catches Ryo off-guard, even if it probably shouldn't. "No complications," he says. "We agreed on that for a reason."

"Then I guess it can't be helped," is all Uchi says.

"But I don't like it," Ryo whines. "I miss being friends."

"I hate to say it," Uchi says (and Ryo almost believes him), "but you brought it on yourself. That's the risk you take when you try to do friends with benefits."

"I just never thought..." He doesn't finish, but he doesn't have to.

"Maybe you should," Uchi says. "Think about it."

Ryo's not sure what he means, but he doesn't ask. He doesn't think he wants to know.

 

It's Shirota's birthday party, so Ryo can't miss it just because Yamapi's going to be there. He could find some excuse if he really wanted to, but that's stupid; he and Yamapi have too many friends in common—not to mention work—to avoid each other forever. Besides, maybe it'll be good for them to be in the same place so Yamapi can see that they can interact normally.

Ryo arrives late on purpose, so there are already a lot of people there. He spots Yamapi across the room talking to somebody he doesn't know, but he doesn't bother him, instead going to greet the birthday boy and get a drink.

It's not until later when the party is winding down and Ryo's a lot drunker that he finds himself face to face with Yamapi. "Uh, hi!" he says, deciding that there's no reason he can't say a simple hello to Yamapi.

Yamapi's really drunk too. Even if Ryo couldn't see it in the way he's holding himself and the lack of focus in his eyes, he'd know from the toothy grin Yamapi gives him before saying, "Hi, Ryo-chan!"

Afterward, Ryo can't remember how they wind up leaving together, but he does remember falling into Yamapi's bed together, just like they did so many times before. He knows, on some level, that this is a bad idea, but it's hard to focus on that with Yamapi's lips on his and his hands eagerly tearing their clothes off. Whatever confusing feelings may have come between them, he's still attracted to Yamapi, and Yamapi still remembers just what he likes. It's all too easy to silence his conscience and just let go.

It's a lot harder when Ryo wakes up in the morning with a massive headache and an even more massive amount of guilt. Yamapi is still asleep, and for a minute Ryo considers sneaking out before he wakes up, but that seems like even more of a jerk move than sleeping with Yamapi in the first place. Instead, he drags himself to the shower, where at least he can feel guilty without a naked Yamapi next to him.

Yamapi's awake when he comes out, but he doesn't turn around. "Hey, umm..." Ryo tries, but trails off. What can he say? I'm sorry for letting you take me home when we're not supposed to be involved anymore? I'm sorry I can't stop wanting you that easily? I'm sorry I'm still not in love with you?

Now Yamapi rolls over to face him, obviously reluctant. "I'm sorry," he mumbles. "I'm not sure how that happened."

"Me neither," Ryo says.

"It doesn't change anything," Yamapi continues. "Right?" There's the tiniest bit of hope in his voice that makes Ryo feel even worse.

"Right," Ryo agrees. Then, "Sorry."

"Don't be," Yamapi says quietly. "I already knew."

Ryo leaves quickly after that; there's nothing more to talk about and he doesn't want to prolong the awkwardness. But even as he heads home, he can't shake off the guilty feeling. What happened was as much Yamapi's fault as his, and Yamapi was the one who messed up what they had before, so why does he feel like such a jerk?

 

An Eito tour is announced, and suddenly Ryo is almost too busy to think, about Yamapi or anything else. Then he's cast in a drama and he _is_ too busy to think, his schedule full of early-morning filming and concert rehearsals that run until late at night. It's easy and familiar, throwing himself into work like this, and kind of a relief. With work, he always knows where he stands.

The tour is fun and the drama is satisfying and after three months when he finally has a break, Ryo's feeling pretty good about his life. He stays home and relaxes for a day and a half, just because he can, and then at night he goes out to have some fun. It's all good until Jin asks him, "Hey, did Pi tell you he got a girlfriend?"

"He what?" At first, Ryo is surprised, but then he fully processes the information and he's shocked. "A _girl_ friend?"

Jin gives him a funny look at that. "Yeah. Some dancer he worked with. He seems to really like her."

Ryo doesn't know how to feel about that. On the one hand, it makes no difference to him anymore if Yamapi wants to date someone. On the other hand, it was only a few months ago that he was declaring his love for Ryo and now he's gone in the complete opposite direction from what they had to having a serious relationship with a woman. It's almost insulting, even if he has no right to expect Yamapi to hold a torch for him.

"What's the big deal?" Jin asks, seemingly oblivious to Ryo's inner turmoil.

"Nothing," Ryo says quickly. "Good for him."

The conversation goes in a different direction after that, but Ryo can't let it go so easily. He thinks about it as he goes home alone, trying to figure out why this is getting to him so much. He knows Yamapi has dated girls before, even if he seems to lean more in the other direction. It's not so strange that he should have a girlfriend, or be serious about her. That's what Ryo always expected would happen for both of them, even when they were together. But that was before Yamapi complicated things, before he seemed to want something different from their future. He ruined their friendship for that; did he really throw it away so easily?

It's hypocritical, maybe, but it makes him angry. It's not like he wants Yamapi miserable, but he doesn't like this. He doesn't like that Yamapi's feelings for him, those feelings which caused him so much grief, could be cast aside just like that. Besides, if Yamapi's moved on, why can't they be friends again? Yamapi hasn't contacted him at all, and who knows when he would've found out about Yamapi's girlfriend if Jin hadn't told him. That's the worst of it, that it feels like Yamapi has left him behind completely.

 

"Are you sure you're not in love with him?" is the first thing Uchi asks when Ryo complains to him. He should probably know better than to go to Uchi with this, but he doesn't want to have to explain the situation to someone new, not when it's already over.

"Why would you say that?" Ryo grumbles, feeling more irritated instead of relieved to get his feelings out.

"Maybe you're not explaining it well," Uchi says, "but it sounds to me like you're jealous that Yamapi's moved on instead of waiting for you to figure out you want him."

"I don't—" Ryo protests. "It's not—" But then he gets a sick feeling in the pit of his stomach because what Uchi's saying makes a lot of sense. Is that why he's angry, because Yamapi's moved on and he hasn't?

"Ryo-chan?" Uchi asks when the silence stretches out too long.

"Fuck," Ryo mutters. "What if you're right?"

"I'm always right," Uchi says smugly, and for once Ryo doesn't argue with him.

"What do I do?" he asks pathetically. "Even if you are right, it's too late now..."

"Talk to him," Uchi says. "If you're not even friends now, you've got nothing to lose."

The sick feeling persists even after Ryo hangs up, his mind racing. Has he really been too clueless or too much in denial to recognize his feelings until now? Or is this new and it took months of separation and Yamapi finding someone else for him to finally feel something? Either way, it's stupid and terrible timing because his chance is long gone now. How did he screw this up so badly?

He wants to just forget about it, maybe after banging his head on the wall a few times, but it occurs to him that Uchi is right: he has nothing to lose. As long as he's sure, he might as well tell Yamapi. And the more he thinks about it, the more sure he is that he feels _something_ for Yamapi, even if he's not ready to call it love. Maybe he has completely missed his chance, but the only way to know is to try.

He agonizes over a mail to Yamapi for ten minutes before he gets fed up and just sends, _Hi._

Yamapi doesn't answer right away. Ryo plays guitar, watches TV, takes a shower, makes some rice, but nothing can hold his attention for long. His gaze flicks over to his cell phone every few seconds until finally, forty-five minutes later, it buzzes with a new message.

He dives for it and is relieved to see that it is in fact a message from Yamapi. _Hi,_ it says. _Did you want something?_ Neutral, with no emoji to hint at how Yamapi feels about hearing from him after all this time.

Ryo writes his next message right away— _Can we talk?_ —but it takes him another five minutes of fretting before he can make himself hit send.

Thankfully, Yamapi replies quickly this time, and the response is positive enough. _I'm free after dinner if you want._

_Okay,_ Ryo replies, not letting himself hesitate this time. _Come by when you're free._

While he waits, Ryo eats two bowls of rice and paces around his apartment what feels like two hundred times. He tells himself he shouldn't be so nervous about meeting Yamapi of all people, but he doesn't have a clue how he's going to explain himself or how Yamapi will respond. He doesn't know if Yamapi will throw his feelings back in his face or let him down easy or if maybe, just maybe, there's still a chance for this to go somewhere.

By the time Yamapi arrives, he's finally settled down on the couch, but he jumps to his feet the second he hears the knock. It's all he can do not to run to the door. He forces himself to relax and put on an expression other than "mildly terrified" before he answers the door.

Yamapi greets him with a small but genuine smile. "I was surprised to hear from you," he says as he steps inside. "It's been a while."

"I was really busy," Ryo says, but they both know that's not the reason, or at least not the only one.

Even though he hasn't been here in months, Yamapi casually slips off his shoes and goes over to take a seat on the couch. "You want something to drink?" Ryo asks, hovering uncertainly.

"No thanks," Yamapi says, leaving him no choice but to sit down too.

There's silence, and when Yamapi doesn't seem like he's going to break it, Ryo finally blurts out, "I think I made a mistake."

"A mistake?" Yamapi echoes, his expression blank in that way even Ryo can never see through.

Ryo takes a deep breath, bracing himself to say, "Letting you go."

Now surprise registers on Yamapi's face, like he really didn't see that coming, before he's back to neutral again. "You didn't really _let_ me go."

"Making you go," Ryo amends. "Whatever you want to call it, I think I was wrong." He's afraid if he stops talking he'll lose his nerve, so he barrels on through. "I honestly don't know if I just didn't understand or if my feelings changed, but I...that is, I should've given what we had a chance. And I know it's too late now, but I just, I wanted to tell you, because...there's nothing to lose, right?"

"I don't understand what you're trying to say," Yamapi mutters, although from the way he's looking anywhere but at him, Ryo suspects he does.

There's only one more thing he can think of to say, so Ryo does. "I lo—like you." It sounds a little pathetic, but it's the best he can do right now.

"Don't mess around, Ryo," Yamapi says. Ryo can't tell if he's mad or not, but he's afraid it's the first. It's not like he doesn't have reason to be mad right now.

"I'm not messing around." Ryo's more quiet now, less frantic. He's said the most important thing; there's no backing out now. "I probably sound like an idiot bringing it up months later when you've already got someone else, but I finally figured things out and if I didn't say it now, I never would."

"So you changed your mind all of a sudden?" Yamapi asks, still unconvinced.

"I think..." Ryo starts. "I was so convinced that what we had was simple—and should be—that it was hard for me to see anything else." He's making this up as he goes along, but it feels like the truth. "Maybe it took being apart to realize how much...how important you are to me." He's embarrassed by that, so he quickly follows with, "Or maybe I'm just emotionally retarded like Uchi keeps telling me. I don't know."

Yamapi finally cracks a smile at that. "That's for sure."

"So..." He doesn't know what else to say, but Yamapi doesn't seem inclined to give him a response.

For an uncomfortably long moment, Yamapi considers, before he finally asks, "What do you mean I've got someone else?"

"Eh?" Whatever Ryo was expecting to hear, it wasn't that. "Jin said you have a girlfriend," he explains, feeling awkward. "Some dancer..."

Yamapi actually looks amused, the jerk. "Oh, her. That was only a few dates last month. Nothing serious."

"I'm going to kill Jin," Ryo mutters darkly. The worst part is that he can't even tell if Jin skillfully manipulated him or just made a clueless mistake.

Now Yamapi even chuckles. "Maybe you should thank him, if that's what got you here."

That just makes Ryo more annoyed because it's true, even if he has to admit it's kind of funny. He's not in the mood to laugh yet, though, because he still doesn't have his answer. "Then, if you're not seeing someone..." For the first time, he starts to feel a little hope that this could go somewhere, and that's as scary as it is exciting.

Yamapi turns serious at that. "If we do this...it would be complicated."

"I know," Ryo says.

"Are you going to decide again in a few months that maybe you do just want a fuckbuddy after all?"

Ryo flinches, feeling guilty even though he doesn't think that's what Yamapi's going for. "It's not like that. I'm serious."

"What about your plans to find a girl who can tolerate you and get married and have a bunch of kids?"

That sets Ryo back a little. He's sure this is what he wants now, but what about the future? "I don't know," he admits. "Is that reason enough not to try?" Yamapi has a point, but he doesn't want to give this up, not after everything, not for a future he's not as sure about as he used to be.

Yamapi studies him for a long moment, but then he just shrugs. "I guess you can never know what'll happen in the future."

"Then..." Ryo asks. He holds his breath until Yamapi smiles, and then he automatically grins back.

"So." Yamapi scoots a little closer on the couch. "You like me now?" He looks really happy, and Ryo's struck by how long it's been since he's seen Yamapi like that.

"Don't let it go to your head," he says, moving toward Yamapi. They're within kissing distance now, so he leans in and captures Yamapi's lips with his own.

It's been a while for this too, but it feels so familiar. Yamapi's lips are soft, a little dry, and his arms are warm and strong when they wrap around Ryo's back and pull him closer. It gives Ryo all sorts of embarrassing fuzzy feelings, so he throws himself into the kiss as a distraction, threading his fingers through Yamapi's hair and opening his mouth against his.

They kiss for a long time, slow and deep, like they have all the time in the world. It's not entirely new, but it was rarely like this before, when they were always too eager to get to the point. Ryo doesn't want Yamapi any less now, but he doesn't mind taking it slow. This is nice, holding onto Yamapi and thinking that he won't let him get away again.

When Yamapi moans softly into the kiss, Ryo knows it's time to move on. He pulls back and they both strip their shirts off, Yamapi's hands immediately returning to his back to pull him closer still. Ryo puts his hands on Yamapi's chest, feeling the muscles under his hands, and then he bends down to taste them too. Yamapi leans back on his hands, letting Ryo kiss and lick his way down to his abs and then back up for another kiss, hungrier now.

"Tease," Yamapi murmurs against his lips, and Ryo chuckles low in his throat.

"You could ask," he says. "I kind of owe you."

Now Yamapi laughs. "You don't have to."

Ryo plants one more lingering kiss on Yamapi's lips and then scoots back. A little smile finds its way onto his face as he opens Yamapi's pants, not so much because he loves giving blowjobs as because this feels so easy and comfortable that he can't believe it took him so long to figure out this is how it should be.

"What?" Yamapi asks, giving him a funny look.

"I'm an idiot," Ryo says with a grin.

"You are," Yamapi agrees fondly, like he knows exactly what Ryo's thinking.

Ryo makes a "hmph" sound even though he doesn't really mind before getting back to what he's doing. He tugs Yamapi's pants and underwear down together until he's lying naked on the couch, then takes a moment to appreciate the sight. Yamapi looks up at him without any self-consciousness, and that makes it hotter somehow, even if it's nothing new. Ryo runs a hand absently down Yamapi's side and feels very lucky.

That's embarrassing too, so he shrugs it off and bends down, wrapping a hand around Yamapi's cock and lapping at the tip just the way he likes it. He gets hard immediately, harsh breaths telling Ryo he likes it even though he doesn't say anything. Ryo takes it slow, licking up the shaft and around the head until he's rewarded with a moan from Yamapi.

He takes Yamapi's erection into his mouth then and bobs his head slowly but steadily, keeping his free hand on Yamapi's thigh less to hold him down than to feel the way his hips rock ever so slightly to meet him each time. Yamapi's pretty quiet, but there's no mistaking that.

Ryo's just thinking about taking it up a notch when Yamapi says, "Wait." He lifts his head, confused, and finds Yamapi looking at him with dark eyes. He holds out a hand and when Ryo takes it, pulls him closer and kisses him again. It seems like a sweet gesture until Ryo realizes his other hand is fumbling under the couch for the lube they used to keep there. "I moved it," he murmurs.

Yamapi seems to take a moment to realize he didn't say something sexy, and then he laughs a little. "Go get it, then. I want you." He says it lightly, still smiling, but his eyes say a lot more. Ryo gets lost there for a second before he turns and hurries to the bedroom and back.

When he gets back, Yamapi is touching himself absently. "Are you sure you need me?" Ryo asks dryly.

"Get over here," Yamapi says. Ryo's still half dressed, so he presses the lube into Yamapi's hand before taking off his remaining clothes, then straddles Yamapi's legs. "Closer," Yamapi says, and Ryo rolls his eyes at his laziness but does as he's told.

Yamapi's leaning up against the arm of the couch now, and he wraps an arm around Ryo's waist to pull him close. It's an awkward angle, but he gets his fingers between Ryo's legs, warm and wet with lube. Ryo takes a deep breath in and out, relaxing, and that's when Yamapi pushes a finger into him. He lets out a shaky gasp as Yamapi starts to move his hand, on the edge of too fast, just the way Ryo likes it. He keeps that up, and the second finger has Ryo shaking against him and the third makes him moan, over and over as Yamapi moves his fingers inside him.

Ryo thinks he's going to have to ask for more, but it turns out Yamapi's eager too. He pulls his hand away and lets Ryo go, watching with hooded eyes as he rolls a condom onto Yamapi's cock and then positions himself above it. Yamapi offers a hand for balance and he takes it before sinking down slowly, slowly, until Yamapi gives an impatient groan.

Then he moves, gasping a little at the feel of Yamapi inside of him, not holding back. Yamapi doesn't make a lot of noise, but the way his head falls back, his mouth going slack with pleasure, makes it clear that he's enjoying this. Ryo moves against him, and it's good, and even better when he reaches down to touch himself as he moves.

He's just barely getting close when Yamapi moves, sitting up and pulling Ryo closer to him before thrusting up to meet him. Ryo wants to hold out, make this last, but then Yamapi thrusts just right and he can't hold on, muffling a cry against Yamapi's shoulder as he comes. Yamapi follows close behind him, his hand tightening on Ryo's hip as his thrusts falter.

They stay like that for longer than usual, Ryo's head resting on Yamapi's shoulder and Yamapi's arm tight around Ryo's waist, both of them breathing hard. It's not awkward, just comfortable, like they could stay like this forever.

"Ryo?" Yamapi asks, when it seems like they really might stay that way forever, and then Ryo finally lifts his head. He kisses Yamapi, just a soft, quick kiss, and then gets up. He offers a hand to Yamapi, who takes it and gets to his feet. "What?" he asks when he catches Ryo smiling at him.

Ryo looks embarrassed as he murmurs, "Thank you," and then Yamapi smiles back.

 

Their relationship now isn't so different than it was before. Yamapi spends the night at Ryo's apartment almost every day that they're both in town, and when he doesn't, Ryo shows up at Yamapi's apartment for drinks and more. There's sex, lots of it, but more too, like when they curl up on the couch together with Yamapi's arm around Ryo's waist and it's okay to admit that they're happy like that.

And then one day, not too long after they get together, in the quiet moment after orgasm, with Yamapi still inside of him, Ryo breathes, "I love you."


End file.
